Sure,
the Federal Reserve Bank has added trillions of dollars to its balance sheet to
backstop financial institutions that made insane leverage of their money, bad
loans to uninformed and sorely under-qualified consumers as well as terrible use
of unregulated financial instruments with the unrealistic expectation that
housing prices will always rise.
Yeah,
President Obama signed a nearly $800 billion stimulus package last week that
critics say is just an omnibus spending bill for years' worth of pet Democratic
projects. The Obama administration says that the legislation and money will save
about four million jobs, depending on the day of the week. Oh, and lest we
forget the $700 billion in TARP money that has been used to this point to make
sure every American has their fair share of a dumb investment in failing banks.
In
other words, the government’s attempts to stimulate the economy have not
worked just yet although every American with a stock portfolio and a mortgage
has his or her fingers and toes crossed. The Fed may have prevented a
speedier decline, or a total meltdown, but things have not gotten much better.
That
all changed on Wednesday when Tiger Woods stepped on the first tee at Dove
Mountain Golf Club just north of Tucson, making his return to competitive golf
at the Accenture Match Play Championship. It has only been eight months since
his surreal, one-legged victory in the United States Open, but the golf world
likely measured the time in dog years.
Now
he’s back after surgically rebuilding his left knee. The PGA Tour is
applauding wildly. Those fortunate tournament sponsors where Woods makes his
highly selective appearances have heaved heavy sighs of relief. The Golf Channel
was sent into an apoplectic promo tizzy simply when Woods announced
his return.
Or
didn’t you notice the little box in the upper right hand corner, counting down
the minutes until Tiger stuck his first peg in the ground? It is golf’s
fervent hope that Tiger Woods will single-handedly stimulate the American
economy. And the possibility exists.
Don’t
believe me? Consider the impact Woods has on the economy. It just might be
larger than the GNP of Tanzania.
He
is the most recognizable athlete in the world. There is a reason that Nike
pays him so much money each year to play their clubs, balls, and wear their
apparel. People buy Nike stuff to be like Tiger.
Tiger
is sponsored by Gatorade, which is running a campaign to try to re-brand itself
as just the letter G. (Somehow they missed a natural: Tigerade, complete
with stripes on the bottle.) It is going to spend money on promotional materials
trying to get people to remember that Tiger had his own Gatorade flavors and is
still a extremely proud drinker of Gatorade.
Buick
got rid of Tiger because it had to under federal pressure. But AT&T
picked up that sponsorship ball and is running with it. It’s not enough that
it has exclusive rights to the iPhone. Now it may have exclusive rights to
the greatest athlete in the world. And that’s big news in the world of
wireless. “The network’’ for Verizon and walkie-talkies for Sprint/Nextel
might not cut it any more. That, or they’ll be foraging for table scraps.
Golf
ratings are totally in the toilet without Woods, usually down between a quarter
and a half of the ratings when Woods is in the field. The downturn has forced
NBC and CBS to make cut backs in their golf budgets and it has been noticeable
in their telecasts. That was terribly obvious at Pebble Beach and the Bob Hope,
which use more than one course in the events.
But
here comes Tiger to the rescue. His presence means more people will be watching
golf on TV. It means more companies will buy ad time for the telecasts and
pay more to do so. Hopefully it will also mean that we all stop seeing
commercials for erectile dysfunction and bladder problems as a younger audience
is drawn to the tube. Who needs low-dose 36-hour Cialis and -- if you listen
closely to all the disclaimers -- why in the world would anyone want to have
that kind of ticking time bomb in their loins?
People
will go to PGA Tour events in which Woods play in droves. (New Orleans can
only wish he would stop here just once.) This knee injury was the sobering news
that Woods will one day stop playing golf. And, if you believe what Woods has
said in the past, there's a fat chance that he'll be making appearances at your
local Champions Tour stop. He will have billions of dollars to spend, a
Foundation to run, and probably golf courses to build in the next great city to
appear out of nowhere (Dubai).
I
don't know if you can put an accurate price tag on the economic impact Woods
has. If truth be told, it probably doesn't measure even close to the trillions
that we have already invested, either knowingly or unwillingly. Still, this is a
stimulus package we can count on to work.